Woman angry that her fiancé’s mother has unveiled their engagement news on social media

A woman says that she and her fiancé did not want to apologize with her fiancé’s mother after they have called her for the early announcement of their engagement news – despite the pressure of her fiancé to say sorry.

The woman described the situation in a recent message about Reddit’s “Am I the A ——-” Forum, where members of the community can go to ask about interpersonal issues. In the post, the 20-year-old writes that she and her Nu-Fiançé-also 20-onlangs are engaged.

She wrote that they each called their parents to tell them the news, and “within 4 hours” her future mother -in -law had placed an engagement announcement on social media, along with some informal mobile phone photos of the couple.

“This was painful for my fiancé and I called friends and family to tell them and waited for a number of professional photos of our photographer before they publicly announced,” the woman wrote. She added: “We also had the impression that this was the right etiquette / social understanding not to announce big things (engagement, wedding, babies, etc.) for the couple.”

The woman said that her fiancé “decided to call his mother and express his dissatisfaction” with her actions, and noted that it was an “emotional conversation”. She also noticed that her future mother -in -law became ‘pretty defensive’, but in the end she took the post and claimed that she had not known that she would have the news about the news would be a problem.

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“We got the photos from the photographer [in] The next day or something and decided to share (because we had finally made all our rounds), “she went on. She then claimed that the mother of her fiancé shared the new set of photos – which was completely good – but the new post started with the expression: “If they forgive me, I am excited …” – of which the woman said, “Feeled us strange to us.”

“My family and our mutual friends thought it was strange and a bit self-centered to share our engagement announcement like this,” she added.

This, she said, led her fiancé to make his mother another call, in which he told her that “we did not want conflicts around our engagement [and] We believed that people would ask about that line. ‘

The Redditor added that things were “heated” with her future mother -in -law who ultimately said things like: “I will just not share anything about you anymore.”

She continued: ‘His father intervened and said in essence that she meant no harm and that my fiancé should apologize for disturbing his mother. My fiancé explained that he did not feel he was wrong and that he did not respond exaggerated […]. ”

The woman noticed that her friends and family did not believe that this is something for which the young couple should apologize, because her fiancé was “not mean and tried to stand up for us.”

‘Are we the AH [a——-] By getting hurt about this and/or not to apologize? “She concluded her post.

A number of commentators said they didn’t think the mother had failed and that the real problem here was a lack of communication.

‘If your family doesn’t tell you there is something [supposed] To be quiet, they will talk about it and post it. This just seems like a communication problem. MIL [mother-in-law] Nothing wrong, because they didn’t tell them to keep it still […]. People can’t read another [people’s minds]”A user wrote.

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“Social media have been around for only 15 years. That is really not enough time for an ordinary etiquette or for an older generation to know how to deal with it, because this is not something they were dealing with when they got married, “another added.

Others, however, found that the woman and her fiancé only let the mother know how they felt – and that the phrasing of the mother’s second post was ‘small’.

“NTA. You never wrong to tell someone how something they made you feel. […] I understand that she was excited for the first time, but the caption when she re -placed the professional photos, was deliberately small and she doesn’t get a pass because she was bitter and hateful, “a commentator Chimde inside.